The Chatty Gal

Women's health & wellness

LOVE, LIFE AND IDENTITY

Double Standards in the Workplace and Maternity Leave

Double Standards in the Workplace and Maternity Leave

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“We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work”

I stumbled across this quote from Amy Westervelt while mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. I started thinking about the truth behind this — how from a young age, women are expected to plan around balancing a work-life and home-life. As I shadowed healthcare providers, I often found myself automatically considering whether I could fit in a family into the lifestyle that these doctors have adopted. I realized that I was already envisioning how my career would be impacted by having children, a reality that many women have to navigate through. Many women who envision a family in their future are subject to societal pressures regarding childbearing and rearing.

Double Standards in the Workplace

This expectation causes women to seem less desirable as candidates for certain positions due to the assumption that they may get pregnant or prioritize family over their career. On the other hand, men are often expected to prioritize work as the “provider of the family.” Thus, a man who is aggressive in business and puts work ahead of family is praised for qualities congruent with societal constructs of masculinity. As a result of this divisive mindset, women are considered less valuable in the workforce, evidenced by oppressive norms such as the wage gap or maternity leave policies.

Problems with Maternity Leave Policy

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) requires companies to protect someone’s job for up to 12 weeks after childbirth or adoption. The law does NOT require that they are paid for that time off, which most companies use to their advantage. This act is applicable to men and women, but if both guardians work for the same company then they have 12 weeks total between the both of them. Even with this accumulated time, 12 weeks is not enough to adapt to the responsibilities of having a child. A longer leave can improve infant and maternal health, so how do women navigate the pressure of coming back so soon?

A trick that many women have reported using is saving up vacation and sick days to add on to the 12 weeks, so that they get extra time off when needed. Another tactic when considering a job includes waiting until they receive an offer to mention any intention on getting pregnant. After an offer is received, they explain how they do not immediately plan to get pregnant, but desire to stay with the company long term and would like to gain more information on parental leave policies. Now, the offer is extended based on skill, and information can still be obtained regarding parental leave policies so that the woman can make the best career decision for herself. This strategy mitigates corporate maternity discrimination and affords women the freedom to accept or deny a company’s offer based on their parental leave policy.

After new mothers return from maternity leave, they are faced with a plethora of new problems that cause nearly one-third of workers with these responsibilities to quit and stay home. Most mothers come to work and feel an expectation to work as though nothing had changed. Despite the fact that they spent weeks out of office and may be struggling to handle a major life transition, women go to work and strive to prove that they are capable of meeting discriminatory and unforgiving corporate expectations. They also have to consider if working is cost effective compared to childcare bills, if they would want a babysitter for such a young child, or if they would even be able to focus on work when their newborn child is at home. When a man takes care of his child and works, he is considered a hero by his coworkers. Meanwhile women carry the burden of expectation, that they were meant to be a homemaker and they should not be complaining or slacking if they are going to choose to work as well.

Well this sounds like a lose-lose situation…what should professional communities do about it?

According to the Goldman Sachs’ Global Markets Institute, women who leave the workforce for five years to raise children lose 20 percent of their earnings potential despite the fact that this short time period is just one-eighth of their working lifetime. This further exemplifies how big of a decision women make when they decide to leave their jobs for their children. How do we address the many factors that influence women to leave their jobs?

If you work with a new mother, check in on them periodically. The stress of jumping back into the pressure of work while completing the new responsibilities of a mother is a lot, so offering help and support once in a while can go a long way. If you are an employer of a new mother, work to make the environment and workload supportive of her transition into motherhood. Consider if the workplace has nearby childcare or a flexible schedule. 

Whether or not you are planning to become a mother in the future, it is important to speak to local representatives about the concerns of maternal leave policy. This means working towards making Texas one of the states that supports paid-leave for these new parents. Advocating for such policy changes can create a shift in mindset to where women are not less valued in the workplace. Every individual is valuable in every aspect of their life. Working mothers are invaluable in both their workspaces and their homes. Professional spheres should act accordingly by creating flexible and supportive environments for them.

Featured Image by Julianna Brion

Pen to Paper: How Journaling Can Improve Your Mental Health

Pen to Paper: How Journaling Can Improve Your Mental Health

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The COVID-19 pandemic has brought upon hardships and stressors that have affected us all in some fashion. One overlooked, but common concern is the negative effects of quarantine on one’s mental health. At the beginning of quarantine, I remember often feeling burnt out after checking social media and reading heartbreaking news day after day. Every week began to look the same with nothing to look forward to; my motivation to complete tasks around the house slowly declined, and my overall energy was noticeably lower than it had ever been before. One day, as I was cleaning out my room, I stumbled across my old journal and rifled through the pages. My interest was piqued, and I decided to try my hand at journaling once more. Over the following weeks, I noticed improvements in my mental state and wellbeing. 

Journaling can improve one’s mental health because it encourages introspection, and provides an outlet to express inner sentiments onto paper. This simple action can enable us to gain better control of our feelings and understand more about ourselves in the process.

What are the key mental health benefits of journaling?

  • Digging into your true feelings: Life moves quickly, and it can be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of events we have every day. Journaling is a method to slow down and really examine how we’ve been feeling. If something has been a heavy weight on your shoulders, taking time to sit down and write about it can lead to a deeper and more realistic perspective as well as lifting the burden a bit. 
  • Controlling your symptoms: By journaling, you are able to recognize certain stressors or recurring behaviors. There are many ways you could run with this information in order to gain more control over your symptoms. For example, you could make a list of steps you want to achieve in order to reach a final goal or track your progress on the frequencies of certain moods or behaviors. Additionally, journaling gives you an opportunity to lift yourself up with positive affirmations.
  • Improving your mood and wellbeing: Journaling can also be used to document happy memories! It could be as simple as jotting down a good moment from every day or pasting in mementos (ex. ticket stubs, a sticker from a friend, etc.) and writing a caption for explanation. A journal can also be filled with positive things from your everyday life that you can refer back to when you’re feeling down. Also, making an effort to find a positive in each day will cause your overall perspective on life to become more optimistic.

Dream log and collage about that dream

People are often discouraged by journaling because they assume it is only writing. Although writing is a useful outlet, journaling is not limited to solely this medium. It can be tailored to a variety of interests! Some examples include: scrapbook journaling, bullet journaling, an art journal, short exercises (ex. writing a letter from your fear, making lists, mind maps), and more. Personally, I love mixing things up and just going with what I’m in the mood for/what I think will help me the most. Sometimes, I write every single thought that comes to mind, and other times, I take the craftier route and sketch or create a collage. 

Drawing of a frog with lyrics I liked from the song, Yoko Ono by Moby Rich, and a sketch of house I thought was pretty on Zillow

Now, it’s your turn. Get out there, grab a notebook, decorate it to your liking, and journal away! If you’re having trouble finding a place to begin, here are some of my favorite places to find inspiration:

  • User @margot.lee on Tiktok
  • Searching “moodboard” or “journaling prompts” on Pinterest
  • Events occurring in my life, small or big
  • Following others that journal on any form of social media

Featured Image: Emma (1996)

Take Your Pain Seriously. Nobody Else Will.

Take Your Pain Seriously. Nobody Else Will.

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In the 19th century, the white man believed the Africans he enslaved and exploited were immune to Western diseases. Today, the white doctor believes his patient, a woman of color, is not worthy of comprehensive treatment.

Women of color, particularly African American women, are often dismissed by healthcare providers when they complain of pain. Why?

Many of us fall prey to systemically ingrained, inherently racist stereotypes. My black power movement professor links those stereotypes back to Jim Crow ideology. “Why do you think all black people are athletic?  — because slave owners bred them to entertain with sport. Why do we think black people feel less pain? That’s how the white man justified his atrocities.” 

In class, we catch our breath and pull sympathetic faces. We, as forward-thinking intellectuals, are repulsed by the barbarity of those times. Yet, we, as forward-thinking intellectuals, fail to realize that we haven’t moved as far forward as we think. 

A 2012 review study — analyzing over 20 years worth of data — published that African American patients reporting pain were 22% less likely than their white counterparts to receive medication. 

Roslyn Lewis, a dollar store employee, injured her back to the point of nerve damage. The ER physicians sent her home with motrin. A 2006 NCBI study defines trust as a key determinant in a doctor-patient relationship. The same study reports a high rate of African American distrust in the healthcare system. 

Implicit bias is not a problem to solve in a blog post. So if we must accept this issue as an inevitable for the time being, what can we do to alleviate it? The answer lies in representation. As women of color, we can capitalize on our own implicit bias and better serve our communities. 

The healthcare landscape is still dominated by white men, who believe certain medical myths, including “the nerve endings of black people were less sensitive than those of white people.”

Dr. Salimah Meghani, a researcher and professor at the University of Pennsylvania says that people are naturally more empathetic to those they can relate to. 

Let’s put the pieces together: If white men take up most seats at the health care table, and if white men can relate to other white men, then only white men are being served. That’s a lot of white men.

In this time, when implicit racial biases are significantly impacting WOC lives, our voices in the medical field are crucial. We are responsible for ourselves and for each other. To any WOC seeking treatment: until we represent a larger part of the healthcare industry, take your pain seriously because nobody else will. 

 

Art: TJ Agbo, Everything Under The Sun (2019)

 

How to Navigate Social Media in a Healthy Way

How to Navigate Social Media in a Healthy Way

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Social media platforms are great ways to keep in touch and stay updated on important people in our lives — but how many of your 623 followers do you keep up with in real life? Social media is an entertaining, but dangerous black hole that we can find ourselves falling into. 


After mindlessly swiping through my feed, double-tapping or swiping up on my friend’s pictures, I find myself face-to-face … well, face-to-screen, with many social media “influencers.” These influencers are usually extremely fit, well-dressed, photogenic people who get to explore many areas of the world with their bright smiles. Often my first reaction is, “Wow, they are really living life!” Then I look down at myself and the homework on my desk, immediately comparing my body and lifestyle to that of the influencer.

Not only do negative emotions arise from us excessively scrolling through social media, but we contribute to this cycle! After seeing other people’s pictures on instagram, I found myself constantly finding places to take cute pictures with friends. After going out to take an infinite number of photos with various poses, we would go inside and stare at our phones, getting input from each other about which picture was most “post-worthy” and then call it a day. In this situation, we may have enjoyed each other’s company, but did we have any meaningful interaction? Doesn’t matter. Everyone who double-taps my picture will think “Wow, they are really living life!” Ring a bell? This endless cycle encourages other people to go out and take, edit, and post more pictures, limiting meaningful social interactions that are important for our emotional and physical health. If we feel so negatively impacted by social media, why don’t we delete it? In the past, whenever I’ve wanted to delete an account, I’d find myself worrying about missing out on what other people are doing. My first thought would be that I wouldn’t be “in the loop”; I felt like I needed social media to stay up to date. Society has integrated social media so deeply into our lives that we feel incomplete without it, truly believing we cannot live without knowing what all of our followers are doing. 

So what are the main problems associated with social media?

  1. We don’t realize these “influencers” we idolize have trainers and makeup artists, while their photos go through photoshop and some major editing
  2. We never know what someone is really going through by looking at their feed/timelines. Commenting on their posts is not the same as talking to them one-on-one.
  3. Often times, insecurities regarding one’s body-type, looks, or lifestyle arise from constantly comparing our daily lives to the idealized versions we see on social media.
  4. We get caught up in the numbers. We dwell on how many likes or comments we will get on a post, and we post what we think will get the most attention from our followers, instead of posting what we want.

How do we navigate social media in a healthy way?

  1. Keep in touch with people, but outside of the app! If someone is on your mind, hit them up. Ask them to a cup of coffee and find out how they are really doing — not what their captions say.
  2. When hanging out with people, avoid the temptation to take pictures of every cute moment (even if it’s “just for the mems”). Each second you spend staring at the camera is time you are taking away from actually enjoying yourself. Know that having fun without everyone knowing is still having fun; you don’t need a photo on instagram to prove this. 
    1. Now, I understand that this step takes a lot of work (even for me). It’s important to take baby steps. If you want to take pictures of cool things you do, go for it (but in moderation)! Keep the pictures to yourself or to people who you think would gain something from the interaction. You are going out to have fun for yourself —not for others.
  3. Limit your social media time! If you want to check your socials, set a timer and stick to it or schedule a specific time to check it. Turn your social media notifications off so that you are not tempted to open it every time your screen lights up. That way during your social media time, you can answer all your notifications at once. Trust me, if someone needed to reach you immediately, it would not be a 2 second snap!
  4. Be aware of how you feel with what people are posting. If you find yourself feeling negative emotions like jealousy or insecurity when looking at someone’s feed, unfollow them or mute their posts. Don’t be afraid to go on an unfollowing spree. You deserve to look at things that make you happy! Social media platforms often have algorithms where your feed will pop up with posts based on what you like or share, so share things that you want to see more or things that make you feel good!

Social media is a form of entertainment. You can have fun with it in moderation, but when you feel your hand start to cramp up from scrolling, swiping, and double-tapping, remember these tips! You are beautiful and deserve to be happy, even if it takes looking away from the screen to realize that. 

 

Art by Anna Schmidt