Editor’s Note: We apologize that by the time of the deadline, Amy Marvin was nowhere to be found, did not respond to emails or deadline reminders, did not respond to Direct Messages or phone calls, did not respond to snail mail, did not answer her door when we knocked. Upon breaking her door down, we found her home entirely empty, save a long unwieldy poem in which she seems to have recorded getting whisked away to some other plane of being. With regret, we accept this as her final submission:
November 22nd awoke subject
flash of light, taking pleasant
strobe outer space proscenium
greeted by pod most stellar
transed beings. Luminous extra
subdued calculating droning
boring, waited patiently holding
pitcher of ice water, projection
machine, cup of Plutonian coffee
so stood in peace. Starlight
melting memory, now decorum,
scene was symposium,
now clumsy. Recollected, like
Plato between my hands.
“Excuse me, am I correct this is some
kind of conference?”
Nod, wing
flap, stridulation verifies. Anticipation
variegated metal twist transparent
grass, all-eyes no-eyes on me, like
albtraum question in mathematics
course never existed.
“The Trans Thinking / Thinking Trans or Thinking Trans / Trans Thinking, I
cannot remember which, it happened October 22nd, now it’s November.”
Often late to deadline, shared
condition. Sea of foreheads
ascending, several dissimilar
shoulders, now strapped
looming initiation. Begin
reverse enumerating, prismic
plastic filter, beaming dial:
_TRANS_PORT_FOR_
_TRANS_FORM_FOR_
_TRANS_SCRIPT_FOR_
_TRANS_DUCE_FOR_
_TRANS_FER_FOR_
_TRANS_PLANT_FOR_
_TRANS_LATE_FOR_
_TRANS_MIT_FOR_
_TRANS_ACT_FOR_
_TRANS_GRESS_FOR_
_TRANS_SIEVE_FOR_
_TRANS_GRATE_FOR_
_FOR_FOR_FOR_FOR_
My soles tumbled upon
blue planet with a more
syncategorematic flavor,
from the pod to verdant
mountain where they sing
their songs. The verses
neither repeat nor reset,
carrying forward by means
of introduction. A banner,
reading WELCOME TO
THE SEVENTY-FIFTH
BI-ANNUAL TRANS
WISDOM AND LIGHT
CONFERENCE in
bountiful greens and
baskets of oranges upon
the grass, where we sat
with a different past.
Words mulled over by
the victors of Chamounix,
the six of birds pulling in
a new attentiveness,
what it means to truly and
not falsely take stock of a
situation. Like us, they
are underemployed and
unemployed, which here is
a delight, they have so much
time to discuss
reclaiming, life, bodies,
thought, action, terms,
archives, curiosity, care,
even without schedule or
screen, podium or projector.
An affiliation not at all
institutional, yet also not
without dissonance or
without conflict (which
would be a settler dream).
Instead given contrast,
a sharper relief to plumb
deeper depths. I know
not if this is a future,
if this is an alternate
timeline or realm, I only
know we will grind
our teeth less and have
more times together.
![](https://sites.utexas.edu/queerandtransvoices/files/2021/02/Amy-Headshot-1024x772.png)
Amy Marvin received her PhD from University of Oregon after writing her dissertation on feminist philosophy. Her work can be found in Transgender Studies Quarterly, Hypatia, Feminist Philosophy Quarterly, the APA Newsletter on LGBTQ Issues in Philosophy, Contingent Magazine, Curiosity Studies: Towards a New Ecology of Knowledge, We Want It All: An Anthology of Radical Trans Poetics. She was a co-organizer for the Trans* Experience in Philosophy Conference in 2016.