Written by: Lillian McGregor
Edited by: Esther Melamed
In December I spent 6 days in the hospital and was diagnosed with COPD. I was discharged with my home treatment equipment and a regimen to follow. It was overwhelming at first, but I have adapted quite well. I was a bit depressed until I realized I was swimming in a bowl of alphabet soup! I have PPMS and now COPD. While at the hospital I had an MRI, CAT scan, x-ray, and put on O2 and an IV. I said my DOB more times than I can count! I came home with a BI-PAP and O2 and concerned about COVID! I needed to go to the ATM, I know my PIN. A crazy world of acronyms, which is very amusing to me.
The new year came and I was full of positivity. We had a new President and I had my appointment for my first COVID vaccination! Then the siege on the Capitol happened. That made me so sad, and angrier than I had been in a long time. COVID cases rose to an alarming rate of deaths and vaccinations were slow. To add to that, the Texas freeze came. I was one of the few who was very lucky. My daughter, Molly, lost power and water and had the courage to drive to my house, along with her cats, of course! My son, Ryan and his family were safe. He had the foresight to stock up on food, so he cooked for a week! I stared out the window and became sad. My friends were not all so lucky and I was not able to do anything for them. I felt helpless and guilty for having heat and water. The snow finally melted, the temperature rose above 32 degrees, my friends are gradually getting back to normal.
However, I was not able to get back to normal. I could not shake the blues. I tried all my usual tricks to perk myself up and nothing worked. One night, I recalled a time with my Grandson, Jordan. When he was two, he stayed with me. After an hour of building block towers, which he had more fun knocking down than building, it was snack time. Out came the graham crackers and a cup of milk. I vividly remember how he sat on a footstool at the coffee table, and was totaling enjoying it. It was quiet, no TV or talking. He was so content. At that time, I thought it was something we lose as adults, the ability to enjoy the little things. So, with no way out of my blues, I thought about that day and tried it. I unplugged, pulled out the graham crackers and a cup of milk, and I found the peace I needed in a small thing. Sometimes, we need to step back from the big picture, and find joy in the smaller pieces.
Jordan is now a 14-year-old, six-foot handsome young man who excels in everything he puts his mind to. Life will start weighing on him, too. I hope when things get overwhelming for him, he takes the time to enjoy his graham crackers.
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